That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
