Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
