my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
