I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
