there's paper in my vomit.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
