If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
