You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
