I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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