So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
