gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
