apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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