your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
