Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
