Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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