He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
