I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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