I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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