WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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