From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
