I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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