nut hugger
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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