I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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