I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
