i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
