My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
