fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
do herpes really smell.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
