i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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