he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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