Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
