Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
