The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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