think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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