I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Randomize
