so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
