She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
