I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
