I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
