I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Girls should come with a carfax report
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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