so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If I die, sorry about rent.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
