dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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