After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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