But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
