Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
