spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
