we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
