i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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