The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
