I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
