my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
