And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Randomize
